|from our honeymoon|
My Alan works hard for the money. So I better treat him right.
Too many pop culture references in one small space. Moving on.
As I was putting the kids to bed tonight, I was telling a couple of them the story of our wedding day and our marriage. I told them some really special memories I have and how we knew that someday we would have kids and, Hey, look! You are some of them! Look how that worked out for us!
Rhett placed his little hand on my arm as I told him how Alan and I made promises to each other and knew that we would have to work really hard to stay together forever. I told him how much we loved each other then and how much more we love each other now. And then I told those kids that I wish the same for them.
To My Darling Children:
You are all so young now, but someday you will be older. God willing. When you grow up and are adults, you will want to find someone to marry and begin a life with. I found a lot of people when I was an adult. Some of them I planned on marrying, even. Many of them I talked about marriage with. But, it wasn't until I met Alan--your father--that I found someone I wanted to just always BE around and have as my friend forever.
Marriage sounds exciting and fun and like a great big sleepover party. Well, it starts out with a party. Sometimes. If you don't want a big wedding party, I think I am OK with that. Marriage, though, is like the greatest party and the hardest test you took at school--those two experiences and feelings switching consistently back and forth. Hooray! Oh boy! Huzzah! UUUuuuugh! Over and over and over again. So, it's kind of a big deal in who you choose to study, test, and party with.
Our first date should have been a total bust, as I am sure you know from our stories about it. But, it was hilarious and fun. I remember thinking that this guy thought I was as funny as I thought he was. This measurement has continued with almost everything in our marriage: I think he is smart, he thinks I am. I think he is witty, he thinks I am witty. I think he is a great worker, he thinks I am. I think he is lazy in the mornings, he thinks I am. I appreciate his spirituality, he appreciates mine.
I think he is handsome, he thinks he is handsome.
We are partners. We are friends. We are lovers. Oh, don't get all uncomfortable; you were born, weren't you? He is not more important than I am and I am not more valuable than he is. I love him more than anybody in the whole world. More than any of you, and you know how much I love each of you. But, he is the biggest deal in my life. I know you realize that this is how it should be and that because of it our entire family is strong.
I wish for you that you find someone as perfectly compatible for you as I was lucky to find in Alan. I don't know how I was lucky enough to find him, but I thank God for him every single day. I want someone to thank God for you every day and I want you to feel the same way about them. Because you are pretty great people and I know I am grateful every day for all of you.
Try your hardest to find a best friend. Try to erase all of the pretense and superficial things that make you "fall in love" with your future spouse. It won't be easy. Do you feel like you could make a super corny joke around them and not feel stupid? Are you able to tell them something really uncomfortable--like how you sleep with stuffed animals and maybe believe in fairies--and feel accepted? Are they willing to come and hang out with your super cool parents on a weekend night and not complain? Do they support your dreams, however preposterous they may be? If you accidentally pas gas in front of them, would they laugh it off or make you feel embarrassed? Because let me tell you, GAS HAPPENS! And if you have to run to the bathroom every moment of the rest of your life that gas happens, GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
I want you to be yourself and grow to be an even better yourself--whoever you marry will be a huge factor in the "better" part of your life. Choose someone rad. Find someone who makes your heart leap as much as mine does when I think about my husband of fourteen years right at this very minute. My heart is so full it could burst right now when I think of your Dad working so hard for our family; when I think of his trust in me and faith in our family. I just think he's the greatest and I want you to have an equally wonderful and flawed and exciting and difficult and amorous marriage as we have. Try hard.
Love, Your Mother, Anna.
Happy Anniversary to my favorite Al that ever lived. FOURTEEN, yo!