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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Vain even in prayer

I think I have really good intentions. (you know what they say about the pathway to hell)


But when the kids are in bed for the night and stillness rests upon our little home, I usually watch a little tv. I am pretty discerning when it comes to tv. I mean, no Jersey Shore and no wrestling of any kind, but everything else is game. My problem is that I intend on watching an hour tops. Watch my recorded shows and then turn it off. 


By minutes 50-55, I am so relaxed that the thought of turning the power off on the remote button is more than I can handle. Because if I do that, then I have to stand up, walk up the stairs, get into pajamas, brush my teeth, wash my face, say my prayers, and then I will be wide awake again. So I postpone the evening finale for a few more minutes. Which always turns into hours. 

At about 2:30 am, I wake up with the worst pain in my side from our comfortable-for-short-amounts-of-time-only couch. I zig zag up the stairs, peel off my clothes, and climb into bed. I will wash my face and brush my teeth tomorrow. (explains the cavities, but I digress)


Years of seminary, primary, sunday school, and young women's pulls at my tired brain. "The minute you don't pray is the minute Satan has won." Dramatic, but it works on my fragile, sleepy psyche; and Satan will not win, even in my 2:30 am state. 


I noticed that my prayers have become, shall we say, vain repetitions when said early in the morning after a few hours of sleep. It seems I always include this sentiment: "I am grateful for the night's rest we have had thus far," which is followed by the hope that our home can continue to be safe and rested throughout the remainder of the night.


It really bothered me last night. My tired prayer and the fact that I am ending the day in the middle of my night. Heaven knows my nights are not well-rested because I am sleeping the first couple of hours in an uncomfortable place, never fully sleeping. Heaven also knows--more than most--that I could put more effort into my prayers. 


I come by the couch-sleeping by inheritance. My father is notorious for snoring in front of the television. I don't snore, at least.


Ideally, I should wash my face, brush my teeth, get into my pajamas and pray before I retire to the couch for my 60 minutes of wind-down in front of the boob tube. That just seems like too much work.


Ok, so maybe my issue is that I am just plain lazy. 


I'll go with that. Something has to end this post.

a

5 wise comments:

Sue said...

I do this far too often, myself.

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Alan Macfarlane said...

No comment. ;)

CJ said...

Pray while you brush your teeth to save time.

lj said...

Anna, YOU'RE THE BEST!

Anna M said...

Sue, you've given me hope!

Alan, keep your no comment to yourself.

CJ: you are a very wise man.

LJ: tell me about it, sista!