LTLYS, part III

I ate three beignets last night. It was a mighty gras mardi for me. Today, NO SUGAR. Good morning, Lent.

I've done the whole no sugar thing before. I'm not going to say that it changed my whole life and made me a better, healthier person. Because, let's be serious, it never has and if anything I've only gotten larger. Good times.

So, why again, do I try all kinds of diet changes and exercises and cleanses? I want to be healthy, of course. I want to run and not be weary and walk and not faint. But somewhere in my little head there is a size or ideal I imagine would make me feel happiest. I don't think I've ever looked like that image in my head.

The face I expect to see in the mirror every time is the one of me at about 26 with good skin and the perfect amount of mascara. I remember my Mom telling me that she still thinks her reflection should be the 25 year-old she imagines she is in her head. I didn't understand that until last year. It's amazing what a few years can do.


Jeffrey Holland said:

"I plead with... women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: 'You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]'"

What is the real you? It isn't eating three beignets and then wallowing in self pity so that you consume a pint of ice cream and 2 slices of pizza (no. I didn't, but I know the temptation.) The real you is one that takes care, eats well, exercises moderately, dresses carefully, speaks kindly, and is true. Real to you.

What is really you? That is the key to confidence, I believe. Taking care of your body and discovering what it is that makes you YOU. Figure that out, work it, own it, LOVE it.

I feel like this is a bit of a rehash, but perhaps it bears repeating. YOU are unique. YOU are beautiful. Take care of your gift (your body) and love it in its current shape and form. Make it healthier, but don't worry about making it look like that fictional picture in your head (or that fictional picture in the magazine).

And just for giggles, I've included Tina Fey's take on media affecting our body image from her book, Bossypants. I've edited it a bit for my more sensitive readers.

"…But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned in butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom - Beyonce brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall [behind], long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll [boobs]. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes."

And we all know how that turned out. Or pretend like you don't know who Kim Kardashian is. Nonetheless, no thanks. I like me.

Say it like you mean it: "I like me!" Do it again. Ten more times. Now with meaning. Pump your fist in the air this time. "I like me!"

Hey, guess what? I like you, too.

source

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part one in Learning to Love Yourself
part two in Learning to Love Yourself