This morning I got an email from a writer at Buzzfeed. I called her back and she asked me a few questions about my Instagram account @kidsaretheworst. Within the hour she had posted a buzzfeed article about how kids are the worst and the numbers climbing on my Instagram account have made me laugh all day long. It was hopping, baby.
And then I go to find the article to post and share with all y'all and I happened to read the comments. "I would have never acted like that as a child." "Now parents think misbehaving is cute and funny and can't wait to share it on social media." "Who leaves their kids alone that long?" "Negligent parenting."
Of course, I can just roll my eyes, because GOOD FOR THESE PEOPLE that were apparently the most amazing, well-behaved children in the history of history. And bless their hearts for hoping that they never have kids that make messes. I sure hope these parents or soon-to-be-parents have bladders of steel, because they should never use the bathroom or take a shower while their child is around. Not even sleeping, really. I had a kid fast asleep when I hopped into the shower once and when I was dressed, I went to check on him in his room. Guess what? He wasn't there! But the DVDs were all over the family room, scattered like confetti. And he was in the middle of it, happy as a clam. You're right, my kid is the spawn of the devil and I am the worst parent in the existing world.
Give me a break.
The point of @kidsaretheworst is to have a community where we can all laugh instead of cry at the craziness of child rearing. Sometimes it is the most blessed opportunity in your life and you can't imagine what could be better. Other times you want to cry because you feel so overwhelmed and alone. And then your child gives you a hug or/and says something adorable, and you know you can once again rule the world. That's parenthood, ladies and gentleman.
I have one child who is sincerely the best kid in the entire world. He does the laundry for his little brothers, makes lunches, takes the dog out for potty every morning, takes out the garbage and brings the can in without being asked, tells me I am beautiful, smart, and funny, gets good grades, listens to his teacher, says please and thank you, and so on. He is seriously a great person already at almost 11 years old. He was the most difficult toddler in a 10-mile radius, though. He threw every toy he had at his bedroom door. He wouldn't stay in time out. He would announce loudly at the stores that he hated me. He wouldn't eat any of his dinners, ever. He made me cry in those two years of toddlerhood more than I have cried in the other 11 of my 13 years of being a mother combined.
@kidsaretheworst is HYPERBOLE! It is meant to calm the parenting heart that wants to cry. It is funny and lighthearted. It is a community that congratulates you for trying to be a good parent. Because I am pretty sure everyone is trying their hardest to raise humans that are better than they are. So, give everyone a break that is trying. Don't assume that you know how they parent, what their child does, or what is going on in that home. Ease up, wontcha? And either laugh with us or don't. But take it down a thousand with your parenting/childhood elitism. Please and thank you.